Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Am I failing?

I knew when I started home schooling my son that I would have struggles, good days and bad days, not so structured days and ones that go exactly as planned. A lot of people thought I was crazy to homeschool him with the Autism factor. I prayed and and prayed and our decision was yes and God would help us. I had thought about what if he doesn't pass this or fails that and had a plan. Yet, I don't think I ever thought about the days that I would feel like I was failing him. Today was that day.

Math, Art, Social Studies, and Science all seem to come easy for him and he enjoys those subject. Language Arts and Reading Comprehension is difficult for him to pick up and right now we are struggling with adjectives. I sat for 30 minutes each day last week and explained, showed examples, wrote sentences and prayed with him. Since we didn't have school yesterday we picked back up today and did the exact same thing. So I was frustrated when he took his quiz and scored a 42!

A 42!?!?!?!

Really? a 42?

I went into the kitchen and cried.

I really wanted to go hide in the closet but I wasn't going to make it that far.

What did I do wrong? Am I failing him as a teacher? Would someone else teach him better? Was this just a fluke? Tears streaming down my face quietly as I search for answers and prayed for strength because I was going to need it along with patience and understanding today.

So we sat there and tried again. This time he made a 72. Better but still not what I expected.

Side not: I am not one of these parents that expects all A's. I know that there will be things that he masters and somethings that are difficult. I do expect his best work though. If he had made a 72 the first time then I would have been fine.

So what now? Well, I am not allowing him to take the test, at least not yet. He will have a ton of worksheets this week until I am satisfied that he KNOWS how to identify adjectives. He will be drilled and drilled all day and asked to put adjectives into his everyday sentences. I have to conquer this one so when the next bump happens then I can stand up against it with confidence.

I've decided never again will I feel like this. It is by the grace of God that we have gotten this far with His grace we will finish. Just because we hit a bump doesn't mean that I am failing him. It just means I may have to find a different approach. There is always more than one way to learn something.

Do you homeschool? Any experiences you want to share?

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