Thursday, February 24, 2011

The Bully

Have you ever seen your child be picked on? Left out? Made fun of? Punched? I have. I have come in after a little boy pick my son up and had thrown him into the wall and left him there to cry. I have watched children purposefully leave him out of games because they don't want to play with him. I have heard children make fun of him. I witnessed a child that punched him in the stomach as hard as they could and then laughed; he didn't know how to respond. He did tell the child that it wasn't nice to punch as he laughed and cried at the same time. I just held him what else could I do, the parents of the other child just sat there.

I think what hurts the most is if you were to meet my Little Buddy you wouldn't know right away that he is special needs. He is just like every other little boy. He likes playing with his DS, building with his Lego's, playing on the computer, watching t.v., bakugans, and the list goes continues. He loves to run, swing on the swing, tell jokes, create, help in the kitchen, and have friends. He has a smile and a laughter that can light up a room and it is very contagious! He is so loyal to the kids that he calls his friends. He aims to please you the best that he can. He has the same feelings as anyone else.

Yet, spend time with my Little Buddy and you will start to notice some things. He doesn't carry on conversation like every child his age. He tends to quote movies and television shows. He will laugh out loud sometimes and you really don't know why. He doesn't answer your questions because sometimes he just doesn't understand how to. He tends to play by himself. He is extremely sensitive to loud noises.

I don't believe that he should be picked on because he is a little different but other kids see that as a weakness. Research has proven that children with special needs will be picked on the most, because they are seen as weak. Other children (the "bully") don't think that they will be told on. If your child is like mine he won't tell anyone but live silently until he has had enough.

All of this brings us here: Little Buddy has recently tried to find ways not to go to school. I like any parent (not knowing why) would loving send him to school because that is where he is supposed to be, right? We were told that third grade gets harder near the end because they require so much of them. By the way, the homework is ridiculous! It can take us hours most nights. Most children tell their parents about upcoming test, not mine I find out the night before. I know that he has a para pro and a teacher so I expect that if Little Buddy is in trouble then someone will help, intervene, do something.  At the last IEP meeting that we had (which they are not truly following) they let us know that "bullying" starts up in fourth grade really bad. They just thought we should know.

We've been planning on homeschooling him for fourth grade and beyond, especially since the IEP. We have even thought about pulling him out this year and starting it now because of the fact that they really aren't following the IEP. They say that they are trying but they haven't really fulfilled anything yet, not really. I am, and have been, very frustrated this year. I see him struggling. He tries so very hard and still fails. Instead of making sure that he has it they keep passing him on. I don't like that at all!

I was talking to him today and I asked him is there anything that he didn't like about school. He said he didn't like the fire drill and this one specific boy (he named him, but not posting names here). I asked why he didn't like the little boy. You have to understand that my child LIKES everyone and never tells me he doesn't like someone. He looked down and told me that this little boy is constantly trying to hurt him and it's tearing him into a million pieces.
(I took out the direct quotes, just because.)
My heart sunk literally broke in half. I could hardly breathe as I was asking him questions. I haven't been able to protect him at from other children and the teachers were doing an even worse job. Why hadn't they told me? They know that he isn't ever going to tell me. He never complains. Then I thought about every time that I put him on the bus even though he didn't want to go. Was I to blame? Thousands of questions swarmed me and no answers. I am a little hurt, angry and upset. I talked to my Mr. and he was furious! Needless to say Little Buddy doesn't ever have to go back to school again. I will be homeschooling him from here on out.

I may not be able to protect him all the time, but I don't have to send him to a school where no one will protect or stand up for him. I want him to have a sense of self worth and know that the "bullying" behavior is unacceptable. Pray for us as we begin this new journey. I am excited and a little worried all at the same time. I want him to succeed and I know that he will!  

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