Tuesday, February 26, 2013

Perserving Innocence or Holding Back?

This question has been ringing in my ears for the last few weeks. I often wonder about my oldest. He will be 12 this year and in some respects he seems to be immature. I guess what I mean is I look around and see other 10-13 year olds and he doesn't seem to be completely with them. I kind of love his innocence though. I know that some of the things he watches on tv isn't always on his age because he has a little sister. Plus I also guard what he watches because there is some crazy stuff out there. But am I holding him back?

He still struggles with engaging within a group of kids. It hurts to watch him sit on the sidelines while they are all running around using their imagination. Coming up with different games and rules. I see that look in his eye that he wants to engage but he can't seem to do it, like he doesn't know how. I long for him to get up and jump right in. But, he never does. Yet, on the other hand when they are playing games that make sense (board games). Then he definitely will jump right in and go for it. I try to encourage him to join in and be "one of the boys". He never replies. When he hangs out with his friends, one on one. He is completely engaged and wants to play and use his imagination.

He is starting to get where he doesn't want to hang/play with his little sister as much. He loves anything electronic.He is very independent. He still loves to draw. He is starting to get that "smart mouth". BUT he still loves to snuggle with me. He still wants hugs and kisses. He still likes the cartoony little kid shows. He is still and always will be my little boy.

SO how do I know which one it is? I want him to be on target but I really don't want him to lose his innocence. I know that one day it's bound to happen. I am just not ready for it to happen, not yet.

No comments: